A Metaphor Concerning Honey Wheat Bagels

Since I came to college, I have been obsessed with the fact that I am so normal. I have written blog posts and journal entries, had conversations, and lived a life trying to figure out why I am so normal.  I want conflict (naively)! I want hardship (naively)! It’s silly, I know. But it’s something that I think about.

I have always preferred white bread and plain bagels, which has made for a great metaphor. I am white bread. I am normal.

The other day, I was grocery shopping, and they were out of plain bagels. So I had to buy honey wheat. I was really upset. I am a plain bagel person. I will always be a plain bagel person.

So a couple of days later, it was time to open up the honey wheat bagels, and I did it begrudgingly. And I made my usual cheese and ham sandwich with a toasted bagel, and I bit into it, and the world opened up and the sun smiled on me. I loved it!

Sometimes you go your whole life thinking something is one way, and if you just step out of it, you can start having something another way. Metaphors. Bagels. Awesome.

4 Things That Make Babies Awesome

I think all babies are basically this awesome.

I got to hang out with my cousin, her husband, and their beautiful baby today. Babies are pretty awesome. Here are some reasons I think babies are awesome.

1. You can’t be unhappy when a baby is in the room. The only time anyone frowns around a baby is when the frowner is making faces at the baby.

2. You can buy gifts for babies for their next stage of life. It is common practice to buy babies spring clothes for Christmas and to buy them a couple of sizes larger. Because you know that the baby is going to grow. It would be kind of weird for my parents to give me a gift for my next life stage. A gift certificate to a wedding caterer isn’t really the same as a 12-month-old one-piece.

3. Babies have no concept of risk. All they know is that they want to put that knife in their mouths. And they will. And then they will cry after they hurt themselves with it. And then they will take a nap.

4. Babies take criticism and never get stressed out about people pressuring them. Have you ever seen a baby melt down because her parents were pressuring her to say “mama?” No. You haven’t. Babies know that they want to walk and talk. They are all about it. And because they know they want to do these things, when the people that love them try to force them to stand or say a couple of syllables, they don’t make a scene. If they aren’t ready, they just chortle. And if they are ready, then they walk or talk and then chortle.