An Incomplete List of Things That Are Making Me Angry Today

1. The idea that there is somehow no good music being made today.

There is. You are just too busy fawning over Biggie to find it.

2. I don’t have any ice cream.

I don’t have any ice cream.

3. Debates over what’s godly and what’s not.

Unless I am your accountability partner, let’s not argue about what God does or does not want us to do. You do what you think is godly and I’ll do what I think is godly, and we can be happy.

4. My thirst for drama.

I desperately crave villains in my life narrative. There are no villains. Just a bunch of people trying to figure out how to live the good life.

5. The American dream.

I am teaching 9th graders this summer. And I love every minute of it. But over the past couple of weeks, I’ve started to develop this fear. What am I educating these students for? So they can be successful in a dream that should have never been a dream in the first place? If all of these students become lawyers, will they be happier than their non-lawyer peers? Will they be more content? Will they be closer to God?

6. Every last thing that has distorted my view of life, love and happiness.

Between John Cusack movies and 50 Shades of Gray and rap music and pop music and Nicholas Sparks novels and Facebook status updates I don’t know what I’m supposed to want.

7. The idea that life is about me and my enjoyment.

How many hours have I spent “blowing off steam” or “taking a break?” These ideas are lies. We need breaks, but we don’t need those breaks to be watching three hours of Youtube videos.

8. I don’t get to visit my friend in New York this summer.

I miss him.

3 Things I Have Learned From My Brother

1. Surround yourself with people whom you love and who love you unconditionally. I was on my brother’s computer this weekend, configuring our iTunes libraries. My brother has had his computer for a couple of weeks, but already it is full of pictures of people who are important to him. The screen saver, the wallpaper, any picture icon – it’s all of people whom he cares about. I have had my computer for over three years, and I have never personalized anything with my friends and family.

I think that’s why if I don’t see my family for a while, I get really tired and start avoiding people. I don’t constantly recharge my battery by reminding myself that there are people in the world who will care about me even if I decide to start living in a sewer. My brother is good about that.

2. The only people’s opinions who are important are the those that you decide are important. My brother does not care if you dislike him. Because he doesn’t know you. It’s so incredibly simple and relieves so much stress.

I am constantly trying to maximize who likes me. I don’t post anything on this blog that’s too controversial because I want people to think I’m an alright guy. I have full faith that if my brother was of the blogging variety, his blog would be one of the most conversation-generating on the internet. Because he wouldn’t be afraid to post something that was unpopular.

3. Never like anything you don’t like. A lot of my friends at school are horrible about this. They have things they actually like and things they ironically like. This concept is foreign to my brother. If he likes something, he likes it. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t.

My brother also refuses to “like” things he’s “supposed” to. I am constantly trying to make myself like classics, whether in literature, film, or music. And this is just so that I can seem cultured. How self-serving. My brother is better than that.

I promise that I will stop with the mushy brother posts for a while.

Two Terms I Wish I Had Never Said

Over the years, I’ve created some terms. And I don’t say this to be conceited, or something. It’s just I like creating theories. And sometimes my theories need names. And every once in a while I discuss these named theories with my friends, and they like them, or whatever. Before I know it, people I don’t talk to are hashtagging my terms on Twitter.

If I’m being completely honest, then I need to tell you that I really like that terms I create catch on. It makes me very happy. And it makes me feel important. So I’m probably going to keep doing it.

But there are two terms I regret creating. I want to talk about those for a bit.

Super Ex. I think this theory was collaborative, but I can’t remember who helped me come up with it. I’m pretty sure I came up with the term. And if I didn’t, then I’m definitely the one who spread it around. So I’m taking responsibility for it.

The super ex is a shorthand way of talking about this theory I had for a while that everyone had one major past relationship by which they judge all following relationships. I formed this theory early on in college because all of the people I was befriending seemed to have had similar experiences: serious relationship in high school leads to serious breakup before college leads to serious hangup for all college relationships.

But the theory only made that cycle worse. By giving a name to it, I was normalizing it, saying it was okay to judge all of your relationships off of that one big one. I think that’s a really childish way to think about love, now.

There are a lot of people in this world. There are some people we like, some people we dislike, and some people we love. But every time we form a relationship with someone new, we form something completely new. We shouldn’t stand around comparing it to whatever came before. Apples to oranges, and all that.

Athens Attractive. I feel the worst about this one. This one is born out of my insecurities with the world. And that’s why I feel bad about it. At first, I thought it was funny. It could have been part of a comedy routine, for instance. And I think some people are still using it that way, which is nice. But some people, following my lead, are using it as a negative term. And that’s not okay. I want to take that back.

I created it because I was tired of all of the girls I was interested in going for the guys who are more free-spirited than I am. I’m a clean cut soul. I like pop music and I watch trashy television. I like to imagine that makes me into a regular Prince Charming. But it doesn’t and so I’m moving on and because I’m moving on, I’d rather not use Athens Attractive negatively anymore.

A friend of mine asked me if she was Athens Attractive the other day. And my mind immediately went down this checklist I had created for it. And then I realized that she didn’t want to be Athens Attractive because Athens Attractive in my head is negative, and she knew that. I’m a firm believer that no one should ever be called something they don’t want to be called. Everyone should have the opportunity to pick their own name. And that’s why Athens Attractive is wrong. It pigeonholes people.

So, if you all don’t mind too much, I am personally going to kill it.