Tag Archives: life

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Breaking Statistics

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I have a confession to make. I tend to put a lot of stock in statistics. I think it started in high school when I started applying to colleges. I had never really thought much about statistics before. They had never come up before. But college admissions statistics hit hard.

Some of the places I applied had admission numbers lower than 10%. That felt almost impossible. And then when you factored in the fact that those schools are trying to get a balanced entering class from all over the nation, those numbers decrease. And I bought it. I bought every decimal point and every fraction.

Because here’s the thing about statistics: once you start believing them (even for a second), you start seeing yourself in the other part of the statistic. In my case, I began to see myself in the 90% that didn’t get into the universities I wanted. This was because there are a lot of really talented, awesome, intelligent people out there. And it seemed ludicrous to suggest that I could ever be in the top 10% of them. And maybe because of that line of thinking, or, more likely, because the world sometimes does the whole statistic thing the way you expect it to, I didn’t get in to any of those statistically-challenging universities.

And so now I put a lot of stock in statistics.

My friend was talking to me the other day about this problem he had with something that Jesus once said. It comes in Matthew 22:14. He says, “For many are invited but few are chosen.” I understand that there is a whole discussion we can have here, depending on our individual theologies, about what this verse means. A lot of people have interpreted it a lot of different ways. But when I was explaining to my friend why I didn’t find this verse problematic, I realized something. This verse is about statistics.

Statistics are about how things are or have been. They don’t control the future. And so when Jesus says that many are invited but few are chosen, maybe he’s not saying that he’s picked those people already. Maybe he’s just saying that it’s tough. It’s tough to apply to prestigious colleges. It’s tough to graduate from high school if you are kid growing up in the inner city. It’s tough to follow God. And that’s all that we should believe of the statistics. Because knowing something is tough motivates us. But trying to divide the world into 10% and 90% gets complicated and stupid.

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The “Thank You” Game

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I made up a game the other day.

It’s a fun game because you get to play it in secret all the time. It’s like a more discreet version of Words with Friends.

Here’s some background:

Sometimes you do something where you are the obvious person who should be thanked – you volunteer, you give a gift, you listen to someone, you donate to a charity. Personally, I do this thing, when I do something like that, where I wait in expectation of the “thank you.” I get bummed out when it doesn’t come, and then I get all frustrated with the whole business and assume I’m not appreciated.

So.

To stop myself from doing this, I invented a game. I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to use it, yet. But basically it goes like this. When I do something that most people would thank me for, I rush to thank them. If I volunteer, I thank the organization or people in question for letting me volunteer and spend time with them. When someone spills their guts to me and needs advice, I’m going to thank them for sharing. And so on and so on.

I started thinking about what the consequences to the “thank you” game would be – if everyone was trying to rush to thank everyone else. And it just seemed like a really really cool world to live in. Feel free to play yourselves!

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Power Places

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Everyone has a power place. A power place is a place where you get stuff done, where you are supremely productive, where the world seems safe, and it feels like you can’t fail.

My power place is bookstores. Any bookstore, really, as long as they have wifi and a coffee shop. Here are some qualities of good power places:

1) Memories. I don’t drink coffee, but I love the smell. My parents don’t drink coffee so my first associations with the smell were having important conversations with dates or friends and finishing that eight-page paper. I think that’s partly what goes into making a successful power place: it has memories that are productive. All of my substantial memories of books/coffee are of me being responsible, friendly, hard-working; in short, all of the things that I want to be.

2) Things you love. When I am in a place with books, I feel an immediate commune with the world. I love books. I love the written word. I love other people who love books. It’s easy for me to be in a good mood when I am around so many things that I love.

3) It’s yours. When I came to college for the first time, one of the first pieces of advice anyone gave me was that I needed to find my own special place to study. I didn’t understand at the time. There are plenty of places to study: study rooms, libraries, your room, etc. But that’s not what that advice is about. It’s about owning a place, feeling at home there, and having it feel special. It’s kind of like choosing a church. A lot of times, there really isn’t a correct answer. It’s about finding a place that speaks to you.

Where’s your power place?