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Let’s Have Words, Friends

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I have a new theory. I think it might solve all of the world’s problems. I think if everyone in the world played Words with Friends, we would all be a lot better off.

There are two major ways I came to this theory:

1. Sometimes, I have a heated discussion with someone, and then after our discussion, I have to figure out how to get ahead of him/her in our Words with Friends game. This is incredibly therapeutic. The thing about friends, acquaintances, and strangers is that we don’t have a built in mechanism to love them.

In my immediate family, that mechanism is the dinner table. If we are having a disagreement, we typically have to put it aside for an hour or so while we break bread together. When a family member refuses to come to the table, that’s the cue to the rest of the family that something is really wrong and needs to be righted. It’s a system.

In the non-family world, we don’t have to put our differences aside often enough. We get to pick our friends, our romantic partners, the strangers we are hanging out with at the bar. But invariably, differences arise, even among the people we’ve picked. And then, we find a new group. We move on.

That’s not really sustainable. We can’t do that forever. At some point, we have to decide that a friend is worth having, differences and all. And Words with Friends then serves as our dinner table. I might get in a fight with my friend, but several hours, I will check my Words with Friends game, see my game with her, make my move, and smile a little. It’s a reminder we are still friends.

2. Sometimes I kind of feel like all of the world’s arguments are just an exaggerated game of Words with Friends. I mean, if you look at the news, and see what people are actually upset about, what they argue over, what they fight wars over, it’s never really as dramatic as those kinds of actions should imply. I think it’d be cool if all the world leaders played Words with Friends with each other. Would they fight about that? Probably. But no nation or military would support a leader who was going to war over Words with Friends. Just sayin’.

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Why I Need (Not Want) My Mom

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My mother is an incredible human being. And I’m not just saying that because she’s my mother. I would still consider her an amazing human being if she was someone else’s mother.

Here’s the thing about my mom. She is a difficult person to buy gifts for.

I think when people hit the age of about 19, it just becomes easier to get gift cards. Everyone always talks about how gift cards aren’t meaningful and all that, but the truth of the matter is that by age 19, all you really want from life is some combination of clothes, electronics, music, movies, and books. And all of those things kind of require personal input. So we get each other gift cards, and we write each other nice little letters that say what we think the money should be spent on.

That’s what you do for most adults.

And most adults are more than happy to spend that money on themselves. I know I am.

Not my mom.

I don’t really have many memories of my mom spending money on something she wanted. She only spends money on things she needs, or, more accurately, things the humble Smith household needs. My grandmother got my mother a gift card to Kohl’s for Christmas. What was my mom excited to buy? New bath towels. No joke. She said our old ones were falling apart. She was right.

I think that’s a really cool skill to have – to be able to discern what it is you need from what it is you want.

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I Want to Hear Your Story

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Everyone has a story. I have a story. You have a story. Your ex has a story. Your best friend has a story. Your professor has a story. Your parents have stories.

It is really important that every story gets told. Stories keep us human. That’s why we cry at movies and chuckle at books. Stories keep us human.

Everyone has a different way to tell her story. Some use music. Some use writing. Some use speaking. Some use art. Some use technology.

It is really important that every story gets told. This year, figure out how to tell your story.